All posts by teejay

Grandad to Elliott


I may have diabetes. After a visit to the doctor’s last week, my blood sugar is off the scale. This is probably why I have had a raging thirst and been dog tired. I had bloods taken and am waiting for the results. It is probably due to too much alcohol, so in this last week I have only had 1 glass of red wine and 1 glass of whiskey, and this was on my wedding aniversary.

Of course TPBTT, in her infinite wisdom has decide to buy books on the subject ‘too learn more about it’. She has also been out and bought diabetic cookbooks. I haven’t even been diagnosed yet (although the doctor is pretty convinced). One thing I have noticed about this wealth of information is that it is conflicting. One book bars me from peperroni, the other has it in a recipe. I’ll just wait and see what the the doctor says.

Crime & Punishment

Upon taking over as Grand Supreme Dictator of All England, I have instigated a review into our laws, especially those concerning Crime and Punishment. For far too long the people of this country have seen their rights eroded in favour of those who oppress. There is far too much emphasis on the ‘human rights’ of law breakers as opposed to the victims. In order to address this balance my first act is to introduce punishments fitting the crime. Some out there will castigate me for the introduction of cruel and unusual punishments, but it is my experience that these people sit in isolated bubbles and have never experience the real world. Let me give you an example :

In The Mail newspaper dated 28/03/2006 was an article about three 15 year olds throwing snowballs at passing cars. One struck a vehicle, denting the side and causing the driver to swerve. The incident was reported to local police who charged the perpetrators under a law passed 1847 that still hasn’t been repealed. The law, ‘Wantonly throwing a missle to the obstruction, annoyance and danger of motor vehicle passengers’ (part of the Town Police Act 1847), carries a maximum fine of £1000 or 14 day imprisonment, although this young thug was only fined £100. His mother was outraged that this brat has been fined for causing deliberate damage to a strangers property. She is quoted as saying “Everyone has thrown snowbaballs – children, adults, it’s all part of growing up and having fun. I was disgusted at the heavy-handed way he was treated”. No mention of her disgust at the damage caused. No mention of his responsibility to pay for the damage he caused – oh no it was not his fault. Well it was his fault, and his mothers for not teaching him responsibility, and therefore they must pay the penalty:

He and his ‘mother’ shall be placed in the Stocks for one day and the public will trhow snowballs made of compacted ice at them.

In the same paper was a story of a 14 year old girl, convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol – for the second time in a year. Sentenced to 4 months youth custody she attacked the prosecutor and the upended tables. Instead of feeling remorse or guilt, perhaps maybe embarassment, she felt angry that she couldn’t do what she wanted. Before entering court she pelted eggs at the reporters outside. Prior to her outburst, her lawyer told the court that she was trying to control her rage. As if we, decent respectable people would believe this scuurilous fabrication – it was so obviously a blatant lie to reduce the sentence.

The girl for having no concept of right or wrong, or for believing that the universe revolves around her – she shall be stripped to the waist and publicly birched at the half time interval of England’s next home game.
At the same game her lawyer will have his tongue removed for trying to pardon this petulant child by blatant lying.

The Coup

During a bloodless coup and with the full backing of the English population the current government has been overthrown and we have now installed TJ as the Grand Supreme Dictator of All England. The current government are now under house arrest until such times as the full list of charges against the English people can be compiled and a jury of impartial peers can be found to judge them.
Until such times as a duly elected government can be found to replace the overthrown, I will continue to make your lives as easy as possible and will make such such rulings as I deem fit to enable you to live as comfortably, and as free from oppression as possible